Someone who you do not consider to be your equal will contact you. It is inevitable. I can't tell you how many men over my father's age have shown interest. I don't go for older men but some women do. I can't get mad at them for trying even though it can be annoying and inside I am screaming "What were you thinking?".
Remember your Netiquette and be nice! Just because someone is not your ideal match, it doesn't give you the right to be horrible to them. I send a "Thanks but No Thanks" response and wish them good luck in their search. This lets them know, as kindly as possible, that they don't stand a chance and gets me off the hook from future contact with them.
If you think this extra step is just too much work and isn't worth it, just realize at some point you will be on the other end with someone not interested in you. How would you want to be treated?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Waterloo
There is a new war that I didn't realize was going on. Online dating changed the typical way that men and women used to communicate. When it comes to contacting someone online the old rules of men making the first move are out. It is an equal playing field as far as the internet is concerned. Men and women both have to go and put themselves out there. But you eventually meet. Does the playing field change to old social norms? Do old social norms still exist?
Once you meet in person I think that old social norms should reappear for a date. Men should offer, not automatically act, with chivalry. Like opening doors, helping someone put their coat on, walking closest to the street, saying something sweet, and showing respect.
The next part of this is who pays for the first date? When I discuss this with my friends in my age group we agree that the man should pay for the first date but when I talk with younger people, they go dutch. So what is appropriate? Whose job is it? I am trying to find a medium ground. If you meet for the first time and have coffee then going dutch is totally acceptable. If you have a great time take it to the next level with a full date then maybe the man should consider paying. If you skip the coffee and go straight to the date then going dutch is okay. There probably is no right and wrong and we all need to not judge a person based on their request to go dutch the first date.
The next part of this is who pays for the first date? When I discuss this with my friends in my age group we agree that the man should pay for the first date but when I talk with younger people, they go dutch. So what is appropriate? Whose job is it? I am trying to find a medium ground. If you meet for the first time and have coffee then going dutch is totally acceptable. If you have a great time take it to the next level with a full date then maybe the man should consider paying. If you skip the coffee and go straight to the date then going dutch is okay. There probably is no right and wrong and we all need to not judge a person based on their request to go dutch the first date.
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